Happy Mother's Day! I know not everyone can be with their mom on holidays such as Mother's Day... like myself. But that doesn't mean that we can't celebrate in our own way. I used to try to make my mom breakfast in bed when I was little... but she always woke up earlier than me. Even when I tried to set my alarm.
I'm not sure that my mom ever slept while my brother and I were young.
And then sometimes I'd try to do the laundry... or wash the dishes. But I don't think she ever liked it when I did... because she had her own way of doing things and I would just do things wrong or out of whack... and I messed up her rhythm.
This was one of the many lessons I've learned from her... if you want to get things done right, sometimes you have to do them yourself. Or at least... get things done the way you like them ;-) I think about this every time my dude puts away the dishes from the dishwasher. I end up finding my measuring cups in a cupboard where I'd never put them myself... and when I go to look for them I feel like I'm losing my mind because I can't figure out where the hell they are. Yeah... sometimes I'd rather just empty the dishwasher myself.
Seriously. My mom is the best (and so is my dad... but that's another post and another month). I guess you never really appreciate how much your parents do for you until you grow up a bit and are able to gain a little perspective. My mom is just one of those people who is a natural caretaker. You either got it or you don't. And I used to think that I didn't have it... but then I find myself making sure that there's plenty of bologna in the fridge for when my fiancé gets home from work, and I think to myself... that's totally something my mom would do.
She always made sure that my brother and I had everything we could possibly need. She did it all. She worked, she stayed home. She spent plenty of time with us. She took us to cool places like the zoo. We went to Disneyworld. She signed us up for stuff like ballet and softball and any extra-curricular activity we showed interest in. I'm not really sure how she did it... I think about having kids a lot and there's things that just sound horrible (on top of things like poop). Like driving your kids to tons of practices (like soccer or something) and then sitting there throughout it and being bored as hell. I told her awhile ago... hey, thanks for taking me to all those band, choir, ballet, tap, etc.. practices, recitals and all that... that must have been hard. And she said... "not really."
Not really. Sigh... she's like, superwoman or something.
She comes from a family of superwomen. They're all just kind of matter-of-fact about life. You grow up, you go to school, you work hard, you love your family, you do anything in the world for them... because that's just what you do.
The women in my family have the most amazing strength and resiliency. My mom, my aunts, my grandmother... are all women whose strength inspire me... as I go through this life figuring things out on my own... I think about them and how amazing they all are. Just the amount of things they've been through would be enough to drive most people to the loony bin.
And they are beautiful. As beautiful as any film star. They have always been and will continue to be the most beautiful women I've ever met. Sometimes (more often these days as I get older) when I look in the mirror, I'll catch a glimpse of one of them... a slight angle, a look... and I'll think... that's totally cool. And shit... have I got a lot to live up to.
Grandma
My grandma grew up poor in New Mexico, yet somehow managed (in spite of having polio as a child) to become a beauty queen, get a full-ride to college and become a teacher in days when not many women went to college or had careers. My mom and aunts & uncles spent much of their childhood in New Mexico too, with not much money... their clothes handmade... my Aunt Lindy used to tell me that they were so poor... that my grandma used to water the dirt.
She's funny, that aunt.
After life brought them to Ohio, they all did awesome things. Built families and careers with the utmost care and attention. It was pure resiliency. The ability of taking not a whole lot and making something amazing out of it. And I feel like I can't go through this life with anything less. I've never had to make my own clothes like my grandma used to... but I can appreciate what they taught me. To never be frivolous about the things that I have.
Mom & Aunt Lindy
And they were not into negativity. The main lesson they've taught me is to always take what you have and make the most out of it. And stop your complaining! That's one of my mom's mom-isms... "stop your complaining!... you ain't got anything to complain about! Hell, she never complained. The only times I ever saw her unhappy or anything of the sort was when she was tired. And being tired isn't really being unhappy, it's just being tired.
Too much complaining from me or too many excuses and I would get a look like, you've got to me kidding me... like your life is so hard? It's definitely stuck with me... to this day I can't stand to be around people who complain too much. I start wanting to yell in their general direction, "Stop complaining and DO SOMETHING about it!" I even have to hide incessant complainers from my Facebook feed.
And if I was ever nursing a break-up with some boy (and there were a few), my mom would be like, "Snap out of it, you should be glad... he was a weak sister! You don't want to end up with a weak sister."
I think that's one of her pet peeves in life. A "weak sister".
And she's always supported all of my crazy decisions in life because she just wants me to be happy. What? You want to go to art school instead of majoring in finance or something that would guarantee you a job and money? Okay.
What? You want to move to England for awhile after you graduate? Okay.
What? You want to move to NEW ORLEANS? Ooookaaay.
And I miss her a lot. We're close. I miss being able to go over to my parent's house and hang out with them. They really are great people that you just really like to be around.
But I know that it's okay. She and my dad are enjoying each other and the things they do. I think that's one of the main things about retirement... it's like, okay kids, you had our attention for 20 years now go off and do something with yourself and leave us alone! We did our job! Now let us sit on the couch, drink wine and watch Two and A Half Men in peace!
I talk to her on the phone a lot. And I visit Columbus as often as I can. I keep thinking that one of these days I'd like to be bi-state, like how some people are bi-coastal. You'll read some author's bio and it'll say, "So-and-so splits their time between New York and San Francisco"... and hopefully one of these days I can say, "Annie splits her time between New Orleans and Columbus"... and maybe we can throw in some fun European destination in there for fun... like Rome ;-) Hey, as long as I'm dreaming I might as well dream big. And that's another thing my mom taught me.
While my bro and I were growing up, my parents never told us that there were things that we could not do.
And I think that was an awesome way to grow up. To never think that something was out of reach if you really wanted it.
Happy Mother's Day. I'm so thankful for my mom that I can't even put it into words. This blog post is but a scratch on the surface.
A measly scratch.
